To be a “narcissist” is, in other words, to be a mass of self-love. This is not merely about being vain or acting cool. Being a “mass of self-love” does not mean valuing oneself or over-cherishing oneself; rather, it is a mass of fixation or obsession.
It is not just any obsession, but one that is disconnected from the perception of those around you. This “skewed obsession” isolates you from collective recognition, manifesting as a dense core of self-love.
Self-love is characterized by the absence of a consistent stance. This lack of consistency makes it extremely difficult for others to empathize, as they cannot find the necessary “hooks” or clues to connect with your perspective. However, even if those clues are difficult to find, when a consistent stance exists, it becomes conviction.
Self-love and conviction do not manifest in isolation. The distinction depends on how others perceive that consistency and where that stance is directed.
The line between self-love and conviction is paper-thin. While it depends on whether others can find a foothold for empathy, conviction carries its own risks. The difference lies not only in the content of the belief but also in whether one’s posture is “closed” or “open.” An open posture would seemingly make it easier for others to find clues for empathy.
The critical point here is not simply the existence of these clues, but whether someone other than yourself can find them. If they are easy to find, empathy is easily gained; if they are hidden, empathy remains out of reach.
For example, when an artist acts based on their convictions, their fans see it as a form of “conviction,” while to others, it may appear as mere “egoism.” The difference between the shapes of self-love and conviction is a vivid reflection of the kind of relationships one has built with others.
